Glossary Term:	Importance:	Status:	Record type:	See:
Tribal (Tribal Love)	» more…	» more…	counseling » edit	» edit

Definition: Restricting deep relational commitments to a select few: family and a few chosen friends. Marked by rigidity, control, predictability, and extreme loyalty. It can cause naive guilt, fearfulness and anxiety.

Terse Description:
(appears with page listings)

Clarifications: Need to flesh-out the guilty love aspect more.

Key Scriptures:

References / Illustrations / Applications

Tribal Paranoiya

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1. Tribalistic Paranoia
   1. A significant problem. Personal tribalism is a problem especially with woman: they learn to become the love-giver for everyone. Mommy then has a nervous breakdown.
      1. Sickness and pain developing developing because she has nowhere to expend all her emotional energy.
   2. She knows you’re not supposed to say that about God…you don’t
      1. She wasn’t “feeling in the right direction”, and she couldn’t “pray into a vacum” where God doesn’t respond.
   3. Loves not in order to receive, but with the expectation that others will love me in a way that makes me feel loved (because everyone…) Doesn’t understand how “I loved and lost.”
   4. Most people learn to move their love experience past their little tribe. But if they get fenced-in every moment, they remain tribalistic. It’s important to look at the pattern back there. It may have been “good” back there, but if someone never grew beyond, they’re stuck in that fenced-in position.
   5. If she had experiences of trying to love outside her tribe, she would’ve known how to pick up & try again. In the central themes of life they’re absolutely wonderful.
   6. Cuddle & Paddle: you can only reason with a child when they have an emotional foundation.
   7. “I am loved and I therefore deserve it” is how we react to love, not “I am loved and I therefore can give it.” - T00444-TribalisticLove

Tribalistic Discipline

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1. It requires limiting environments instead so “I don’t have to discipline them,” which is deceptively functional.
   1. Little Johnny throwing temper-tantrums because he gets pushed outside his environment.
   2. “We don’t let children do whatever they want, we let them do whatever they want within a limited environment.”
2. You need to help someone get out of that idyllic, tribal world.

- T00444-TribalisticLove

Love-takers

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1. They’re always trying to get love.
   1. The natural expectation is that you’ll get love in exchange.
      1. “I don’t know how to handle it if I don’t get love in return.”
   2. It’s a matter of forcing love on the child, and forcing the child to love back.
   3. This is required…this is the righteous / disciplining aspect of love. - T00444-TribalisticLove

All - love

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1. There’s at least one level you can love all people anywhere: their need to know God, for example.
2. There are things about our box which is incomplete, and we must and need to reach beyond the confines of our limited experience. In order for love to be true love, I must be able to love everyone and anyone with the same love. Else I’m only loving “them that love you…” Because “love does not seek its own.” - LTW0037

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